You Are a Game Designer
I’ve met a lot of people in the game design world who express some version of the following sentiment:
“I’m not really a game designer because…”
What comes after is always some form of measuring stick against whoever else they feel is more deserving of the title “game designer.” Maybe they’ve never published a game, or maybe they self-published and they don’t think that really counts, or maybe their one published game didn’t sell well, or maybe they’ve published several games but haven’t really found a way to make a living off of it, etc.
Whatever it is, it’s a standard we hold ourselves to that we would never apply to someone else. We need to stop.
If you design games, then you are a game designer.
Impostor Syndrome
Lots of creative people suffer from Impostor Syndrome (myself included).
Yes, I design games, and by my own definition (and that of Jesse Schell in the first few pages of The Art of Game Design), I can rightfully call myself a game designer. But it doesn’t always feel that way.
I mean, I have one published game, so that's good, right? But that game was published by my co-designer’s company, and so that just feels like a vanity project I got to be a part of. Yes, it’s technically on BGG, and yes, we sold quite a few copies at the one PAXu we brought it to back in 2017. But it also had a failed kickstarter and we sort of just abandoned it. I haven’t had a published game since.
It’s me, as a leader card in Crown of Aragon.
And yet, I must remind myself that I continue to work on game design. That over the last several years I’ve written down and brainstormed dozens of different designs. That of those designs I’ve prototyped about 10-15 separate games, and that of those games I currently have 3 that I am happy enough with to be pitching them to publishers and submitting them to contests. For someone who “isn’t really a game designer” I sure have been working a lot on game design.
Remember in-person playtesting? Hidden Masters, summer 2019.
You have been too. I’ve seen you, either in the various discord design groups that have sprung up over the last year, or in person along this crazy bike route.
And then I think about my involvement in the game design community. I am an active member in the Boston Game Makers Guild. I helped to found Heavyweight Championship Playtesting. I regularly attended virtual playtesting sessions throughout the last 15 months. All of that directly led to me deciding to embark on this bike trip.
Heavyweight Championship Playtesting - an online testing group for longer/heavier games.
And you’re out there too. You’re helping with organization of your local design group. You’re giving your time to playtest other people’s games. You’re writing weekly game design blogs. You’re moderating a discord channel or a facebook group. You’re listening to other designers when they need an ear. You’re involved in the community, and you’re valued for it.
I didn’t set out with the intention of writing about my own game design experiences. But the process of listing out the things I’ve done has certainly helped alleviate a portion of my impostor syndrome. If you see any of your experiences echoed in my own, I hope you feel some of that relief too.
So get prototyping, and get involved!
After all, you’re a game designer.
